Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize