I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
