my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why do cheetos always look like penises
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
