is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
