Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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