There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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