Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
