Non-Jews are for practice
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
