I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
