Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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