I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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