Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
