Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
