like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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