; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
