They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize