ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
