When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
