I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
