may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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