like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
