either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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