Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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