I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
