New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize