it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
