I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
