Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
