I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
