Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
