I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
