i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
