i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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