I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
