i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
