Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
