i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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