so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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