Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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