i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
