I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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