meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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