She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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