Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I still have a little drunk in my system
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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