You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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