no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize