youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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