I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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