I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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