Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
