I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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