david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize