I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
