Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
