There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
