and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
