Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
