Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize