no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
