is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
