Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
