bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
