How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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